A Parody on an Election Speech, written for the 2010 General Election

Parody on an Election Speech

Friends, Britons, countrymen, lend me your beers, 

I come to suffer Clegg, not to praise him.

The voting that men do lives after them;

The MPs are oft destroyed by their decisions;

So let it be with the Lib Dems. The noble Cameron

Hath told you Clegg was ambitious;

If it were so, it was an unfortunate fault,

And badly Clegg hath borne it.

Here, under leave of the electorate and the rest - 

For the electorate are honourable beings;

So are they all, relatively normal people - 

Come I to speak at Clegg's demise.

He was charismatic, vocal in the coalition;

But Cameron said he was ambitious;

And the electorate are honourable folks.

They hath brought many candidates to the polls

Whose votes did they of the public seek;

Did this in Clegg seem ambitious?

When the AV vote fails, Clegg will weep;

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff;

Yet Cameron said he was ambitious;

And the electorate are moderately reliable folks.

You all did see that on the television

Cameron once offered him a depute PMship

Which he did accept; was this ambition?

Yet Cameron said he was ambitious;

And sure, the electorate are so-so.

I speak not to disprove what the electorate have shown

But I am here to speak what I do know.

You all did like him once, after the Leaders' Debates:

What cause withholds you then, to be upset for him?

O judgement! Thou are fled along with the referendum

And men have lost their faith. Bear with me;

My votes are in the bucket, there with my hopes,

And I must pause 'til I can find them.

(originally written 29-05-10)